Confession Time

I think I have just realized (or re-realized) one of my idiosyncrasies... when I'm going through a hard time, or just not happy in my state of life I tend to withdraw from pretty much everything. (Notice a distinct lack of posts lately... yeah that's part of it!) So nothing terribly wrong is going on in my life right now... I've just been having contractions. Every. Day. For almost 5 weeks. Most of them are simply Braxton Hicks and don't do anything. Which I think is the most aggravating part of having them! I mean if they were actually doing anything it wouldn't be as frustrating, right? But if they were doing something I'd have had a baby by now... I know some women have a lot worse time during pregnancy than I am having now, but for me this is bad enough. I also know that there are plenty of women out there who would just love to be pregnant and have to go through what I am dealing with. However, everything I've been dealing with has been hard for me. (Oh yeah, and I pretty much haven't been cooking lately so that is another reason why posting has been limited!)

The only place I've really been discussing this is on my personal facebook profile. So I am getting better at not completely withdrawing! But I still don't really express exactly how frustrated I am... I've been to the hospital 3 times thinking I was in labor... Once at 36 weeks - when they stopped my contractions. Then at 37 weeks, and at 38 weeks. At 38 weeks both my husband and I ended up with the stomach flu at the hospital so we actually stayed overnight - we didn't get there until 10 or 11 PM - because there was no way either one of us was fit to drive. All I have to say is that having contractions and having the stomach flu is not a nice combination. I think I fared better than my husband because I was given IV fluids (probably is also what stopped my contractions, but at that point I wasn't complaining because I simply felt awful!) Since then I've almost felt like going to the hospital 2-3 times, but waited long enough that the contractions died down before we left... I half joked the other day that I'm not going to believe I'm in labor until a baby is popping out of me (and then it will be a bit too late to go to the hospital!) Although I don't have much longer to worry about that... At my OB appointment yesterday we decided to have them induce me tomorrow (a day before my due date, but I'm pretty much done with all this worrying and waiting. Oh and I really love this picture...) By induce I mean they're going to break my water and hopefully that will do the trick! (After all I am now 3 CM dilated.)

So I'm sorry I've been holding out on you and not posting lately (I will try to be better in the future of not withdrawing!) However, I can't guarantee that for the next few weeks that I'll be posting very much... after all taking care of a newborn and a 3 year old will probably take all the energy that I'll have being a sleep deprived mommy.

I hope you all have a great weekend!