Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Thinking the worst...

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and am simply glad to still be pregnant. Wait, What? I never thought I'd be saying that because about a week ago I just wanted to be done (but knew it would still be about 7 weeks!) So what changed? The reality that I could have had to deliver a baby 6 weeks early...

Last Thursday I went to get a 3D Ultrasound (our clinic does them for free if you have your 20 week ultrasound done there...) We got a clear view of baby's back - but I don't have one of those cool pictures to show you what my baby looks like... we didn't get one (well we could have gotten one of baby's back...) However, during the ultrasound the technician discovered that my amniotic fluid was low. So she called my OB and after we waited for a while (he was with a patient) he told me to go home, take it easy, drink lots of fluids and then go to the hospital in the morning for a non-stress test and an AFI (Amniotic Fluid Index).

I'd personally like to say that I don't handle situations where there is unknowns very well! I always tend to go with the worst case scenarios... So of course when I got home, part of my taking it easy was to look up what happens when one has low fluid. (Side note: when my husband told his boss that we were going in for tests due to the amniotic fluid being low, he said it almost sounded like he was taking me in for a tune-up... and it kind of does!) So I learned that some people have bed rest, others have to deliver early and others have to go in for the AFI and non-stress tests 1-2 times per week. So I naturally imagine that I'm either going to deliver this baby during the next few days or I'll be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy... and the waiting was excruciating. I honestly wish we could have went in that afternoon as I don't handle waiting very well!

This picture was taken Thursday night - just in case! Me at almost 34 weeks

The next morning came and we headed off to the hospital (about a half an hour away.) I learned that morning that I wasn't the only one with a worst case scenario outlook - my husband kept thinking that we'd have to have a C-Section... When we got there the nurse hooked me up and I was so thirsty (as I am pretty much every morning...) and I asked if I could have some water. She said she'd have to check in case they had to take the baby they might not want me to have anything to drink. Okay that did NOTHING to ease my fears... however she did say that she wasn't saying they would have to... but still didn't help!

After about a half an hour of being monitored they sent me to get the AFI done. Luckily it turned out that I had a normal amount of fluid (albeit it is on the lower end of the normal range.) They still felt the need to monitor the baby for a bit longer... but everything was fine. I was just advised to do kick counts if I wasn't feeling baby move like normal.

Me at 34 weeks with my toddler... for comparison.

I would have to say that this experience really opened my eyes to what some women have to go through while pregnant. While I didn't have to go through all the worse case scenarios that went floating through my head, the reality that I could have had to was very real. I can also say that I'm grateful to still be pregnant and am trying to be more upbeat about all the normal but annoying symptoms that occur during the last few months of pregnancy. Trying is the key word there... the afternoon complete exhaustion can really make me want to just have the whole thing over, BUT I know that I don't want it to be (unless I could magically skip over the next 4-6 weeks and have a full term baby without the wait!)

This experience has also made me rethink my approach to unknown problems/situations. It really NEVER occurred to me that everything would be fine and I'd be continuing life as normal! It made me realize that I need to shift my thinking to be more positive and not ONLY think about the negative. While thinking about all the possibilities can help me to be prepared in case one of them happens, I should also focus on the fact that everything CAN be alright.

How about you - do you tend to think about the worst scenarios, or are you more of an optimistic thinker?

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I am absolutely a worst-case-scenario worrier! I'm glad that you're ok, too!


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